Picture time!!!

The Burd is back!!!!

You got it right!!! The word is out and the word is the Burd. To hell with the man! The Burd shall once again exercise the right to free speech. The crew be hangin and with a little support from my team we shall once again drop some tidbits of wisdom. Ally girl be looking like Beetle Juice and Sabe be teamin up with Jonny D spewing that left wing tree hugging granola eating rhetoric!!!  But now i shall impart some knowledge.
The Burd was chillin at the club when sure enough some limp dick fool rolled up with a nice little package of Burd treats. The Burd strolled on over and told the boy to take his treat on home and go ahead warm up the oven. You see the Burd was gonna head on over and drop a loaf of custom made french bread in that oven and trust me its best to preheat the oven. Aint nothing better than watching your loaf rise ladies. You will learn to appreciate it. Trust Me!! 
Jonny D - Pussy pop on a hand stand!!
Im going to redo my hair before the interview - thats from a dude and i dont think he is gay?
Strong A - None of my booty calls are answering!!!
Just a little rant and rave kiddos!!
Just wait till we get to the Rooster!!!

No mas Pollito!!!!!!!!!!!!

Minions be aware!! We have unleashed upon the unsuspecting populace a terrible scourge known as Ryan (AKA Pollito). One of our own has flown the coup. Good luck little canary! Unfortunately the subtle slights and witticisms shall be less abundant. As much as it pains the Burd to say it I hate to see you go. Now fuck off!!! Quote of the day:
"Bro i have hit hotter red heads than that. Of course that's when i had hair........and money."
Stay tuned little kiddies there is more to come!!!

The man has yet to build a cage that can hold the burd!!!!!!!

It is true my loyal followers, big brother put the Burd in a cage!!!  But alas we have spread our wings and once again we shall delight you with a few humorous qoutes.
"I feel good for being retarded"
"I'm goin with that one. Rhinoplasty is a hell of a lot cheaper than a boob job!"
"Do you think Bob is jealous of Dave's vibrant homosexual youth?"
In all honesty kiddos the man got the burd. Apperently the Burd participated in the involantary blood drive down at the Bexar County Detention Center. If you think it might look good on your resume, dont bet on it!!
Aint nothing better than a breath of free air!!!!!!!

Ah - Damn!!

A little tidbit for my my boy!

"She's next, after i break up with her."
"Who was that guy you were T-baggin last night? Dude that was you!"

Trust me I have more. I misplaced my journal!!  It's not a diary!! 

Documentation!!

Here's the deal my many minions. The Burd truly possesses a phenomenal memory but even the greatest computer could use a little extra RAM. Hence we obtained a journal!!!  It's not a fucking diary!!! Therefore this little segment of Wam Burd and JonnyD shall be dedicated to a few quotes documented this previous evening. Before we begin a quick update. That tsunami of drunken idiots and luscious little pixies i referred to has hit shore. Throughout the next week we shall be inundated with said individuals. With a little luck the Burd just might come across a tasty little morsel with low self esteem and serious daddy issues. Let's just say this coming week shows promise!  
To protect the innocent (if there is such a thing) all names have been omitted from this blog.

"You think your so cultured. You're the most redneck person i know. Stop staring at my chest!!!!"
"Doesn't it smell like weed?"   "No, but the voodoo doll i bought smells like weed."
"Imagine a stripper dancing."
"You can stop with the vag and go to the butt."
"I didn't make any money on that one guys. WTF!"

It's true. These are actual quotes from actual people that came out of their actual mouths. I love my journal! Fuck you! It's not a diary!!

Friday!! Let's get it on!!

Hello my little party people! it's friday and spring break is coming up next week. It's gonna be like Japan except the tsunami will consist of drunken college kids. Please lord grant the deadly trio an additional amount of patience!!!  Seriously, to anyone with family pretty much anywhere in the pacific, we pray for you. 
The Burd is quite secure in his heterosexuality. Last night though there was a gross misinterpretation whereupon a new hire perceived the burd as an individual who would bat from the other side of the plate. comprede?
Quote-Burd "What the hell i'm not gay i was the guy at CVS last night buying astrogl.....  OK I should just stop right there."

The weekend be breathing down our necks!!

Yes little kiddies it has been one week since the birth of one of the greatest media outlets of our time!!! We shall see what this thursday brings. We deal with the youngins tonight so that means boobies galore and some seriously ignorant comments. Soon we shall launch our vessel into true cyberspace via facebook and then our greatness shall be known around the world!!!! Waiting for the architect (JonnyD) to add some bells and whissles.

The Burd took a break

Well kids even the burd stayed in the nest for one day!
Hit up the Spurs Lakers game with ole JonnyD. Keep your friends close and your enemies (AKA Laker fans) closer! its monday so we wont be expecting much! hopefully we will get a twisted quote of the day. its monday and someone should be seriously hung over and therefore spewing madness from their pie hole!!!!!!

Six days and counting!!!

Gotta give a shout out to my boy! You know who you are!! Got you a much needed vacation coming up. The best to you and your family. Enjoy your time off!!!  Anyway, on to the good stuff!! Allygirl has been brought into the fold. So much for riding the wagon! A few bottles of wine and ole ally be loosened up and she is hangin with the guys. You gotta give the girl props for putting with us!!
Quote of the night
jonnyd - "Ally, if your vagina is shaved it is a blank canvas."

Fuck it's the cops!!!!

Hello boys and girls! It's true the fuzz dropped by last night to pay us a visit! The burd has yet to receive any negative reports so he be thinking everything went well. You see the burd was gettin out early and he was quick to take flight upon seeing the little piggies and their tin stars. There's a fine line between bravery and stupidity!!!!
Quotes of the evening:
Burd-"Hey man that nut job sent me a text this afternoon"
Eli-"Oh yeah you ask about her pregnancy?"
Burd-"Fuck No! I don't give a shit about that."

jonny bailed last night!!!

Lets see what goes down this evening kiddos!!! its friday and the nut jobs will be out in force!!! quote of the night from thursday!!  "Did they have oranges before Blue Moon?"

another night in the trenches

laddies and gentlemen get ready for some seriously fucked up shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1